The Nostalgic JO-ker

2008-11-28T22:04:00.002+08:00

School had better start soon, or I'll hallucinate even further. I'm misinterpreting the song, If I Were A Boy, by Beyonce.

Changing into the ideal me. I told you I'm listening to the song for the wrong reason. What else d'you think then??

2008-11-23T16:56:00.001+08:00

Will be vacant for the next four days, unless you get me free wireless network in Malaysia.

2008-11-23T16:50:00.002+08:00

I feel like a betrayer.

2008-11-23T16:23:00.003+08:00

Being perfectly aware that it has begun, you must be, too. Whatever the amount of time, I'm confident it'll happen one day, and it'll all return to the point of time when my life hadn't entered the turning point, and I'll be too glad you'll be surprised.

Everyone has an angel and the devil within himself. It's the subconscious voice which people open their heart to, leading to it controlling your mind. Yet, being fully aware that the devil leads us to nowhere, we'd choose his route somehow.

2008-11-23T16:12:00.002+08:00

Few things are certain in this life. The most certain fact of all is that I am to die. No matter what my interests may be, or how important they seem, when death comes, I will leave everything and go to my Judgement at once. A weak soul is enslaved by its earthly desires and love. To those who love this earthly life too much, it would be a painful parting.

Taken from My Daily Bread.

2008-11-21T18:16:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry. I understand how this'll get through you. It'll kinda hurt you bad. However, it's the truth I just... Sigh. I don't see you as how others expect me to. I tried to deceive myself, telling myself that you're the person I've been yearning to have, but it all turned into vain. I'm apparently lying to myself, and'll probably end up worse if I believe a lie I'm aware of.

Well, I know you're really good to me at times, rreeeaaaallllyyy good, but then sometimes being good to a person doesn't necessarily win her heart. I still cannot accept this fact, which I've been trying hard for what seemed like ages. No one can force me to, anyway. It's too easy for me to develop some misconceptions about you too, too many of them, moreover. Well, whatever.

I hope you do put yourself in my shoes, have a taste of the complications and confusions overwhelming me in the nights when I can't get to sleep. Questions bombarding my mind... It's not so very easy. Just want to let you know, although I can't accept you, you have my respect. Maybe at times I'm just too irritated with you, finding you such a bore, or cursing you, but I'll feel guilty afterwards.

Blood, indeed, is thicker than water afterall.

2008-11-17T18:04:00.002+08:00

5th day since the last day of the Big O's. Still getting on fine, boredom hasn't taken place yet. Unwell though, the fuxing weather's to be blamed, I think. 33 degrees celsius at one moment, 27 at the next. Damn you people, not contributing any effort to the environmental management.

Anyway, I feel as if I'm transforming into a sadist. I'm watching movies such as 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' etc. Movies involving cannibalism, gouging out of eyeballs, slitting of throats and tongues, and more. Day after day, my mind gets filled with more of such contents. Interesting, though.

My brother's receiving his PSLE results on the 20th. Not that I'm wicked, but I really hope he doesn't get above 238. He cannot be better than me. Or I'll feel as if I'm a loser. Sorry bro.

2008-11-08T15:41:00.003+08:00

Jialat. Of some foolish deeds I've done, I did one which infected my bloody computer with malicious viruses. Trojan, spyware, worm, even this porn virus, which allows "hardcore pornographic materials popup". All these threatening to "exploit personal information and passwords to an untrusted server".

And this foolish deed of mine was to click on the "Congrats! Click here to retrieve your free iPod Touch!" popup, and ta-da! I received Trojan viruses and worms instead of an iPod Touch. I knew the popup was a gimmick, but on the other hand, I was curious to know what'll happen if I click on it. So you see, curiosity kills the cat.

Now, I'm bombarded with security warnings and denied the access to my hotmail, facebook, friendster and neopet accounts. Great. Marvellous.

Let's leave that aside anyway. I love 'Twilight'. Thanks Beatrice for lending me the book. I was amazed I could speed read! Muahaha! I love Edward Cullen, if only I were Isabella Swan.. If only pigs fly...

2008-11-04T17:08:00.003+08:00

If only Higher Chinese, Phyics Paper 1 and Chemistry Paper 1 require intensive revision, I guess I wouldn't be here, at home enjoying life; watching HBO and Star Movies, reading Harry Potter, playing ping pong, five stones. Home entertainment's the best, I tell you.

Charmaine asked me yesterday to follow her for this job: A model for a slimming/ beauty centre. Oh man, so you mean I would gladly agree to reveal my before/ after photos with bulging cellulites and if newspapers were to publish the ad, what'll it say?

"Lose 25kg and 14cm in 7 weeks! It works for Charmaine and even Jolene, sign up for our slimming package while stocks last!"

Great. We'll be guinea pigs. Well, of course, we didn't take up this job! Another job featured in 'Classifieds' was: Model for wedding portfolio. Nice one. And I'll be a 'bao ba zhang' then, with the seams of the gown almost bursting!

Anyway, I love ang moh cha bor.

2008-10-29T18:54:00.002+08:00

Physic's sooo good! Perfect! If you could catch the sarcasm. Drawing of thermocouple thermometer. Who would have imagined such 'lmao' question! Cambridge's eating my $, my exam fees! For such questions! I'm counting myself lucky for having 7 subjects. I have the other 6, all safe, for my L1R5.

But anyway, History and Physics, the monsters, have gone. All down! I shot them dead. Social studies, Higher Chinese and both sciences' MCQs. Easy peasy lemon squeazy. Wait for my good news.

2008-10-22T21:21:00.004+08:00

At some point of time, you feel that you wouldn't want to grow up this fast. You'd just want time to pause for a moment, stop the secondhand, and then take a breather, freshen up, before finally continuing life's journey.

Time is passing too quickly, as if it's taking a sprint, and then allowing events to catch me by surprise. I don't like it. Take this moment for instance, seconds and minutes are passing while I just need this short period of time to catch up with some things.

I always wonder how's it like to possess a time-machine which is often mentioned in fiction stories. Then can I turn the knob to return to whatever of the past I want, regardless whether I'm only allowed to just pay a visit to the past, or to change some events' outcomes from the past, I'd be super willing to do so. However sadly, it's fiction; it's part of fantasy.

Sometimes I wonder too, what exactly is reality? Is it this human world which we claim to be reality? Or is it the dreamland, which I go to during sleeptime, that I've always been hoping would be reality. You'd just shrug your shoulders and tell me, "Why bother?"

I hate reality, and I hate to grow up from this time onwards...

2008-10-22T21:01:00.004+08:00

Not that I haven't been online for long, but sometimes laziness just gets over me, and it took so long for me to just get onto this webpage to blog. Many things passed.

Prelims.

Graduation day.

And O level's here. The papers were really manageable so far, waiting for what's up next, partly cuz I prefer afternoon papers. You'll see me die in my upcoming morning papers. 4 papers down, which includes english done as well.

Mummy claims that I've been able to cope really well with the past papers cuz I took her GNC's "DHA Omega Fish Oil Pills" that's why I'm able to focus during the exam cuz my brain has been 'softened'. She's just... Cute ((: Plus a bit lame.

Cuz the papers, so far, were in the afternoon, I get to sleep late and wake up late. So I only study between 12am to 2am. I think it's a nice time to study and do a bit of last minute revision (although it's already the big O's). I'm in my holiday mood nowadays, believe it or not. I've been feeling very light-hearted despite having the O's. That's so me. Relaxed at times which I'm supposed to be worried, worried at times which I'm supposed to be relaxed.

Well, let's see how smart I am then, on the day of the unleashed results. If I get <10 for my L1R5, (before deducting bonus points) I'll jump over the moon. That's it.